The Fall…..

In this blogpost I would like to share all the untold things. I want to vomit out before my friends, all that I wasn’t able to speak verbally. Check out the giant sized blog post.

The Fall……


Hello everybody, hope everybody is doing great. End SEM fever is raging high. But for engineers, ALL IZZ WELL. Well after my two blog posts on love, this blog post is to narrate the two years of my higher secondary school life. I have a very bad habit of not sharing my woes with my friends. Friendship is all about sharing be it happiness or grief. But I haven’t been sharing the latter of the two. But, in this blog post I will share everything that is within me, about how I faced the biggest downfall of my life till date. Without much ado, I begin..

The New World:

It was 11th standard then, July of 2008, the first day of 11th Standard. We all had passed our 10th board and we had to choose our stream for the future, and I chose science. Science for me was an uncharted ocean; science for me wasn’t a passion but just a mere medium to reach IT Engineering. I was never enchanted by the laws of physics, chemistry compounds or the curve tracing in maths.

So, we entered the gates of our heaven, our school on July 26th 2008. For the first time, Rebecca, Ritika and I after 3 years were standing in queues of different divisions. All throughout the prayer time, and then we three kept looking at each other’s face letting each other know about our nervousness and excitement through out gestures.

It was just the first day and I was feeling very alien in 11th A. I felt as if I …. Read Full

The Academic Fallout:

This was the main factor which constituted my fall. Since 3 years in my 8th, 9th and 10th standard, all people 2 years junior to me and 2 years senior to me, had heard only one guy- Anish Desai coming 1st repeatedly exam after exam year after year in the “A” division and also in all four divisions at times. (Sorry, if I am speaking too high about myself, but I give all the credit to my Lord for my achievements). Same was the case with my teachers and parents. They had stopped congratulating me for my 1st ranks after one instance because my getting first rank every time had become a too ordinary deal for them. But little did they know about the disaster that was going to vandalize their son’s life completely.

But after I came in 11th I don’t know what affected me, I couldn’t perform in studies. Doubts in studies were something …. Read Full

In Depression:

And I was then in what world calls DEPRESSION. Anish would who chatter all the time with people around, had stopped speaking then. Even, when I would meet Rebecca and Ritika, I wouldn’t speak, I would just gaze their face with null expression on my face. Rebecca did ask me a couple of times on phone ki what was the matter, but I was too stubborn to share all this with her. I usage to manage a fake smile temporarily and a few stupid jokes to make her laugh till the phone conversation lasted. But I know she might have known all this in some corner of her heart. Ritika was too busy in her own world to see me suffering. She was least anxious to know about what I was going through. And when at times I would want to share a pinch of this to her, she would end up uninterestingly saying “Kya dukhi aatma banta hai, mast rehneka hota hai, ho gaya na”. I understood, she had no interest in knowing the hell I was in…. Read Full

Mocking and kicking the Setting Sun:

We had a poem titled “Sayankaade”(Meaning: At the Sunset) in 10th standard Gujarati textbook by poet Dalpatram. One of the verses of the poem had these words:

Puje Jano Sau Ugta Ravi Ne

(Meaning: People worship the rising sun only)

When the poem was being explained in the class, I didn’t pay much attention to this one and I remember Anjum teacher said “These are the lessons of life. Its better you learn in the class today else you life will teach them to you practically tomorrow.” And she was so very correct. Little did I know that time that, I was going to be the setting sun soon.

Anish Desai who held a very exalted reputation amongst 11th standard people had suddenly become ZERO for them after the 1st Terminal Results. … Read Full…..

The only positives:

In all this hassle, there were a few things happening positive round the corner. In such circumstances even a small positive appears to be an enormous one for a person facing depression. I had lost my academic status and I had realized it by the end of 11th standard that I am not going to regain the momentum that I had lost. I am not going to regain the 1st rank ever in my school life. It’s not that I had accepted the defeat and succumbed to the downfall, but it was all about accepting God’s commandment. God was teaching me lessons of life, he was making me gold from cheap tin, and so I had to comply to his will. But at the same time God showed me some positives hidden in all these. I will enlist them one by one.

Read Full

The End

All in all, the two years were the worst academic years of my life with the worst results. But God made me see all this with me in his arms. I was so safe in his arms that these things couldn’t shatter me. Never in those 2 years I cried, because I knew I was in safe ends.

Read Full

Love & Regards,

Anish.

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10 thoughts on “The Fall…..”

  1. Ise kehte hain Duniya rang badalti hai…I was in tears reading about the behaviors of people towards u… Its true we see the real face of the world in hard times…life is really tough naa…hats off to all those who were being there for u, in need…thanks to God, Who has made u survive in all these circumstances..

  2. hhhmmmmm….. whnevr i saw u in class culdnt makeout evn for a sec tht u r going thru al dis…..!!! nw i undrstnd y do u call me “ROTLU”….. i alwayz cry my eyes out on my probs… u were so so rite….. u r indeed a vry strong person 2 handle al dis yar……. really truly HATS OFF 2 U…..!!!!!!!!

  3. awww…. thanks… good one ..but u left out an important part, but then i guess it doesnt make sense putting it up… tho i like the idea of thinking ppl judged u for 1 rank..

  4. Good one Anish….and yes its very true….Puje Jano Sau Ugta Ravi Ne….and like Allina said Yeh Duniya Rang Badltai hai….
    and right…apanne apna sacha sambandho ane mitro ni khabar apna kharab samay ma j pade che….
    and yes God is great….Bhagwan apni pase thi kai lai le che, to apan ne kai k aape pan che….as you lost your 1st rank but you win all the interschools during that time….
    and you handle these situations and circumstances very well….really you are a very strong person…..

  5. first of all dear …i loved ur home page…first it was like the very moment we type the domain name i believe that.. it used to show the blogs.. but now the key “enter” seems good.
    Hmmm… Im honour to be a part of this blog and to knw the real u.. as i read the line i m going to share about the real within me my eyes were fixed on screen though other side my frnd was waiting to talk to me about sumthing.. but i continued to read.
    well, same pinch even i dun used to share until i got a frnd with whom i could share any aspect of my life..

    anyways i understand, it was somewhat with me… i had joined one and a half year back the skul in 9th std and managed to knw the new ppl but then we were separated into divisions… and unfortunately none of the ppl i had start being close to, was in the commerce section and i realized that once again i have to interact with new ppl and go on with life. Actually for me it wasnt to tough coz i had accepted the separation with my frnds since childhood as i had changed around 5skuls. So i got habitual of it.
    Yet i can feel how disappointing it is to be apart.

    To be honest i can feel ur situation as i had gone thru this and i would say for me it was constantly frm 5th to 9th std that my performance was damn BAD!!
    No body knows why ..actually even me. I had blunders those years. Erm.. i dun evn want to share from what all i have gone thru.. But in short i can just say they went like nightmares for me wich i dun want to rem ever.
    and till date i feel im a looser … i nvr could stand up till the expectations of my parents and teachers.
    Btw few situations of our life are like which is even deadly to recall. Today ur blog reminded of those years which i had forgotten long back. But anyhow i cant separate it frm myself.
    Very true the best tym is to knw who is ur true frnd when u are facing downfalls.
    I hate it when ppl consider not to talk to u just coz u dun score gud marks anymore. I shuldnt say but they are totally shit, being professional. I dun think at the end of ur life its ur success wich is going to remembered but ur deeds.
    Screw this status.. its the status.. success.. wich have ruined my past life.. and maybe my future too.
    Im glad that u had few ppl to support u through those years… never let them go becoz they are the ppl who really love u truly.
    Its the first tym i actually did felt a gulp in my throat while reading and typing this…
    I wanted to say alot.. but find myself wordless.
    Would just say its true.. everything happens for a good reason and its god who is always there with u.
    May god bless u forever! Keep rocking and smiling dear.
    And yea im sry i couldnt be in ur life when u actually needed someone. I knw till then we hadnt met but yet i felt like saying so i did.

    and yaah i never found any of ur blog long that i cant read… i had always love to read them and share my views.

  6. I just cant stop reading this. Its so cool, so full of information that I just didnt know. Im glad to see that people are actually writing about this issue in such a smart way, showing us all different sides to it. Youre a great blogger. Please keep it up. I cant wait to read whats next.

  7. Nice one! If I could write like this I would be well chuffed. The more I read articles of such quality as this (which is rare), the more I think there might be a future for the Net. Keep it up, as it were.

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